Cloudflare TV

Silicon Valley Squares

Presented by Dan Hollinger
Originally aired on 

A send up of Hollywood Squares where Cloudflare experts fill the celebrity squares and answer high and low-level Cloudflare questions to help two guest stars (customers, AEs or new hires) get a a tic-tac-toe, or possibly the Silicon Valley equivalent - a TCP handshake (SYN, SYN-ACK, ACK)

Game Shows

Transcript (Beta)

Hello, hello. Welcome everyone to yet another episode of Silicon Valley Squares. I'm your host Dan Hollinger and with me today is a variety of Cloudflare employees eager and willing to entertain you all over a game of tic-tac-toe.

So you've watched Silicon Valley engineers try to change the world.

Now you're going to watch us try to make you laugh and I apologize ahead of time.

We fail at both. Yep, we fail at both.

So with that in mind I'll introduce the show. I have two contestants here, Jeanette and Eva.

They'll both be trying to complete a tic -tac-toe on this board in front of you.

That means three across, three diagonally, or three down, or first to five.

They'll do that by asking our lovely squares, I'll ask the lovely squares a trivia question and we'll move on from there.

So with that Jeanette would you mind introducing yourself to our rabid audience of Cloudflare employees and friends and family?

Sure, I am Jeanette Hernandez. I'm here in Austin, Texas and I just started with Cloudflare in April so I'm fairly a newbie and I support Juan, the CIO, and Dane, the head of product strategy.

Awesome, well welcome to Cloudflare and welcome to the show.

Thank you. And Eva, would you mind introducing yourself to everyone?

Sure, my name is Eva. I oversee IT planning and governance here at Cloudflare and I'm located in San Francisco.

Awesome, welcome to the show. All right Jeanette, I'll bring the board back up.

As X, you get to kick us off. Where would you like to begin? Well I usually like that top left square so let's try Matt since he said he's great when it's really early in the morning for him.

First question to Matt before we get there, are you coming to us from a hut in Hawaii right now?

Yes, I have moved into a hut.

It's sealed from the public. It's an air-gapped hut, I like it. Well yeah, what time is it Matt where you are?

I think it's about four o'clock in the morning. Nice, we got to just mark like who has the record latest time.

It's now between Andre and you.

All right Matt, your question, hopefully a softball for you. Before becoming a video giant, what was the original business plan of YouTube?

Oh well, I know that one and you know it's basically the founders of the Internet had the original vision to promote cat videos and this is you know the basic founding principle of the Internet and so it took a while to get going but YouTube founders built an incredible business around sharing cat videos.

Cat videos, Jeanette, do you agree or disagree?

I actually want to disagree with him because my cat was annoying the crap out of me since 4 a.m.

today. I think there's a market for this. I'll agree.

All right, actually no, the original business plan of YouTube was online video dating.

So with that, Eva gets the square. Point of order Dan, are we gonna do introductions for the squares or is Matt just like the mysterious Matt from Hawaii?

Oh yeah, that was a big faux pas from Dan. Have you done this before Dan?

Matt, what do you want to introduce yourself? I got distracted by the Hawaii talk.

What time is where you are? My name is Matt Twyman, I'm a director of IT infrastructure for Cloudflare and based out of San Francisco.

Thank you for that Matt and Andre, thanks for keeping me honest.

Gotta keep the show, you know, running smoothly even when the host messes up.

All right, back to the game. Eva, the board is yours and you're already on the board.

All right, I'll pick the corner right down there. I'll pick Minnie. Minnie, welcome to the show.

Would you mind introducing yourself to the crowd? Hi, I'm Minnie.

I work on the IT team. I support the go to market technologies. And we recently rolled out Salesforce CPQ for the sales team.

Are you also in an air gapped location?

I'm in a closet, because the rest of my family is sleeping. Nice. That's dedication.

Yeah. Very Harry Potter of you. All right, Minnie, your question. Interface Manager was the development name of this now ubiquitous computer software.

Interface Manager.

I think I would guess MuleSoft, but I do know its development name was DonkeySoft.

So maybe graphical user interface manager?

Interface. Maybe it has to do with Facebook.

Could be. I think that's Intraface. I think I'll go with Microsoft Windows.

Microsoft Windows. All right. Eva, do you agree or disagree? Let me think.

Where's the background music? I was told there was going to be background music.

Yeah, I can only think with background music. I think it sounds plausible.

I agree. All right. It is Microsoft Windows. So, first developed in 1981, Interface Manager was the first name, probably before marketing got their hands on it.

They're like, we can't call it Interface Manager.

All right. Because Windows is such a more descriptive name for it. It is.

All right, Jeanette, I think I know where you need to go. I can't see this game.

Oh, let me. Again, I'm just, I'm just Oh, boy.

All right. There's the state of the board. Where would you like to play? Let's go with Juan.

Juan, our center square. Would you like to introduce yourself? Yes, sir.

My name is Juan Rodriguez. I'm in the Atlanta branch of the Austin office. I'm Cloudflare's CIO.

I don't think that's the thing. I think you just made that up. Oh, I actually am.

And I've been in Cloudflare since January. Awesome. Well, welcome to the company and to the center square.

Your question. The term CIO, Chief Information Officer, was coined in this year by the VP of Data Processing at the Bank of Boston.

Which year?

Yeah, so that's actually a very interesting story. So at that time in this year, in the Bank of Boston, they were trying to come up with a platform to do e-commerce online.

And this guy actually came up with an acronym to make it catchy.

I call it check it out. That it was actually, you know, how they were going to check out certain things, you know, in that e-commerce platform.

And, you know, it has the rumor also, it came out as the original hashtag, hashtag CIO, check it out.

And eventually the guy just basically, you know, they ended up calling him the CIO because of that very, very famous hashtag.

And eventually, you know, deriving to Chief Information Officer and everything.

But the real story is basically check it out.

And I think, I think that this was in 1981. Was this hashtag in 1981?

It's called the pound sign back then. It still exists. It was on the phone.

You can do pound CIO. All right. 1981. What do you, what do you think of that?

So he has to lead me in the right direction here because he knows I can make his calendar life hell for him.

So Juan, I'm going to agree with you.

All right. It was 1981. Yay! But probably not enough collusion.

Yeah, no collusion. Everyone has Gchat behind the scenes, I'm sure.

She threatened me ahead of time. All right. Jeanette gets the block. So yeah, at that time, it was the argument that this role should be more strategic and be focused on reducing costs and examining IT from an enterprise perspective.

Yes, sir. So I don't know about the check it out part.

We'd have to, I'll have to double check that one.

All right. Ava, you were successfully blocked. Where would you like to play next?

I will go with Alonzo.

Alonzo, my friend. Would you mind introducing yourself to everyone on the call?

Yeah, of course. So I'm Alonzo Bustamante, coming to you live from the west side of London.

And I'm part of our special projects team. Awesome. Well, welcome.

This is your first time on Silicon Valley Squares. Your question. Another softball.

Repinning is a feature of which famous social media website? Well, actually, I don't know if you remember the history of this.

But back in the early days of Twitter, you had the Twitter whale when Twitter used to fail.

And the image of that little Twitter whale had little pins on top that held the whale.

So it's an original feature of Twitter. The whale fail. Was it the fail whale?

The fail whale. See, all these engineers in Silicon Valley think they're clever.

All right. What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with Twitter for repinning as a feature of this famous social media website?

I don't know. I don't associate a whale with Twitter.

I would immediately think about Dockers. And repinning kind of sounds like pin.

I don't know. Well, I don't know. Thank you. I don't know.

I think I disagree. I disagree. I disagree. All right. It was not Twitter.

The correct answer was Pinterest. I need to work on my line skills.

Yeah. Pinterest is where all the pinning happens. It was actually Pinterest that even threw a Docker in there.

I mean, there are across from our San Francisco office.

That's true. You're right. They're right by the bar that is in front of the office.

Isn't Docker containers more of a mounting than a pinning? Well, you can pin the containers on a whale.

I don't know. That's how shipping works. All right. Jeanette, the board is yours.

Where would you like to play? Let's go with Jen. Jen. Another newbie to Silicon Valley Square.

Would you mind introducing yourself to everyone on the call and TV show?

Can I just be mysterious, Jen? I like that term. Mysterious Matt.

I'm Jen Carranza. I am an HR business partner. I sit in the Austin office.

I'm creeping up on my one-year mark next week. Awesome. Congratulations. All right.

Your question. The first computer mouse had how many buttons? I think I know this one.

Although I don't know exactly what you're the first mouse. How many buttons does a mouse have today?

I don't even know. As many as you want now.

It depends. The Macs have zero. Gaming ones have like 20. Okay. Let me think of when I used AOL when I was first using a computer.

I'm going to go with two.

Because I think I remember two. All right. The first computer mouse had two buttons.

Do you agree or disagree? Does the middle wheel count as a button?

I don't think the first mouse had a wheel. Oh.

I'm just going to tell you something. A piece of advice. Jen says don't eat coffee.

What is she drinking? I don't know. Trust the person. I'm just going to go with that.

I just feel like there should be a third button. Because you have left click, right click.

You need something else to neutralize everything. Or move around.

You said two, Jen? I said two. Okay. I'm going to disagree. I feel like it's three.

All right. Disagree is the correct answer. It was actually one button.

So the earliest prototypes of the mouse were made out of wood. They actually had two bells inside to handle the x-axis and the y-axis.

And they only had a single button on the corner.

Yep. Made out of wood. Do you remember using this mouse? Is this...

Are you calling me old? I'm only heavily implying that. It was an MVP of a button.

Of a mouse, I think. All right. I think that would be great. We should hand those out.

All right. X gets the square. Get some nostalgia going. All right. X gets the square.

Eva, where would you like to play? Wow. Eva on the defense. Well, William.

William. And I know William was prepping all night last night making sure that he was going to have the best responses.

William, would you mind introducing yourself?

Yes. I did hit up Dan last night to try and understand how this game works.

So my name is William DeCuna and I run the America's Sales Organization.

So thanks for the CPQ, by the way. It's made our life miserable and happy, hopefully in the next few months.

Many. I have an actual question for you, William.

Did you find out how this game works at all? Because I've been doing it for a minute now and I still don't know how it works.

Barely. I forgot to wear the hat, so clearly not.

I don't know how it works. This is just for protection. Yeah. All right.

All right, William. Well, thank you for joining us. Let me pull up your question.

All right. A nice storied one. On October 29, 1969, for the first time in history, a group of UCLA engineers led by Leonard Klenrock sent a character from one computer to another in a different physical location.

What letters did they try to send?

Probably what's up?

I don't know if you guys watched the Budweiser commercial, but probably that.

They just resurrected it here. In fact, it's back in the UK. Yeah, early 2000s.

Yeah. It was the Budweiser commercial, and now a European company owns Budweiser.

Let me think through that for a second. It was the letters or the word they were trying to communicate between the two locations was probably hello or possibly login.

Let me think for a second. I'm going to go with login. All right. Login.

Is that what the UCLA engineers were trying to send? I don't know.

Login. Why? Did we say letters or letter? We said letters. They were attempting to type in this word.

I would say false.

I disagree. All right. Eva disagrees. It was actually login. Damn.

They typed in LOG, and the system crashed on the G. That's how far we've come.

Yes. Wow, Jeanette coming from behind. I can't give you the win based off of that, but the board is yours, and you're welcome to go for the win.

All right.

Let's try William again. All right, William. You're just in for you're going to make game one.

All right. Let's make it happen. All right. Let me pull up your extra question.

What was the name of the first social network site launched in 1994?

Oh, goodness.

Gabbard building it while he was in kindergarten, I would assume. Let's see.

First social networking site launched in 94. Kind of going back. I was around in 94.

I would say it was MySpace that Rupert Murdoch ended up buying and destroying unfortunately, but MySpace I would say is the right answer.

All right. MySpace. Do you agree or disagree, Jeanette, for the win?

That was the first thing that popped into my head too.

Lots of pressure. I know. If you get it wrong, we're going to make you go by your MySpace username.

If you get it right, we're going to make William do it.

Because I think it's MySpace, it probably isn't MySpace.

Here's the problem. I'm going to disagree. Good choice.

It was GeoCities. Again, I might be curious what the definition of social bits of GeoCities were there.

I guess there was communities. There were some bulletin board aspects. All right.

Jeanette takes game one. What's the prize?

What's everyone playing for, Dan? I'm still working on that with our finance team and marketing team.

I can't give away prizes. Game one was brought to you by Cloudflare Workers.

Cloudflare Workers is Cloudflare's functions as a service serverless solution now with zero cold starts.

It's serverless week, if anyone's paying attention to the blogs.

Everybody does. With that, now on to game two.

Great commercial. Eva, the board is yours. Where would you like to kick us off?

I'll start with Juan in the middle. All right, Juan. Your question. Since you're now already Cloud TV famous, according to a 2017 survey, what is the most commonly used password?

2017 survey, most commonly used password. Wow. So many choices.

It could be password. It could be, let me look in the keyboard, QWERTY. It could be many things like that, but I think the last time that I looked at this, the actual most used password because people got a little bit smarter since the last survey is 654321.


What do you think about that answer, Eva? No.

Clearly not.

Do you disagree that people don't even get smarter or what? I mean, I was just looking at my keyboard.

I don't know if you can see it. It just doesn't make sense.

What do you mean? Do you just type it like this? If it's the most commonly used, no.

All right. That is correct. The most commonly used password was 123456.

The other direction. I think he was trying to turn you around there. It was.

Clearly I didn't succeed. The board is yours. Andre, Raju, and Todd haven't been picked yet.

Let's try Raju. Raju, welcome to Silicon Valley Squares. Would you mind introducing yourself to everyone on the call?

My name is Raju. I'm a business systems manager responsible for interface systems processes working in IT.


Welcome. Your question. Over 85 ,000 sites are hacked every day. WordPress and this other content management system are the most affected.

What is the other content management system?

I think all those 85,000 sites first of all should sign up for Cloud Play to be productive.

Good choice. Good plug. Is this going to be another question where it's a sketchy definition of what a CMS is?

No, I think this one's fair.

I'm pretty sure this question's existed since the first episode.

There you go. 85,000 sites. Is that like a Facebook or something like that?

Is Facebook a CMS? Who knows by your definitions, Dan.

You're wild and crazy today. Facebook. Jeanette, do you agree or disagree?

I'm going to disagree. No trust. No trust in the P-squares anymore. The answer is Joomla, so that disagree is correct.

Raju, no more meetings for you. Yeah, there you go.

All right. Calendar is full. All right, Eva, board is yours. Where would you like to play?

Let's unmute Todd. Todd, welcome to the show. Would you mind introducing yourself?

Yes, my name is Todd Champa and I joined Cloudflare in April of this year in the Austin office.

I'm one of the recruiters supporting all of our hiring in Austin as well as sales across the East Coast.

Awesome. Welcome. Great to have you.

Oh, this is a fun question. In 2006, according to a statistician, only about 1.1% of Internet content was considered what?

Hmm. Was 2006 a presidential election year?

I think it might have been worth reading within my initial thoughts.

It wasn't. Let's say protected from DDoS attacks.

All right. So in 2006, according to a statistician, only about 1.1% of the Internet content was protected from DDoS attacks.

Do you agree or disagree? Well, I think that sounds like a right answer.

I agree with his answer. All right.

That answer is actually wrong. In 2006, only about 1.1% of content was considered pornographic.

Okay. There you go. We need to bump those numbers up. What's a DDoS?

I don't want to be a liar. So let's just make sure that there's no such thing.

All right. I would argue that he's actually not wrong. Did we just track that back then?

Yeah, no one was paying attention. I mean, who knows that his answer is right?

Did we verify that? I mean, so the question that I have... Can the rest of the squares override your answer, Dan?

I mean, they do have access to the PowerPoint.

All right. We've got time for one more question. Where would you like to play?

Let's bring Andre in. All right. Andre, the alumni, would you mind introducing yourself since you are Cloudflare TV famous?

That's true. That's very true.

Yeah, so hi, I'm Andre. I am coming to you from London, currently sitting on a bike because that was the only appropriate thing to do with a helmet like this.

I am on the managed rules team. We do WAFI-type things. Awesome. Your question.

QR codes were created in 1994 to track what? The number of sites that are protected by DDoS.

All right. Final answer. Do you agree or disagree? I'm going to disagree.

Good choice. No trust. You don't have control over my calendar, though, so ha ha ha.

The correct answer was vehicles and parts as they were being assembled.

So the QR code was invented by Toyota. Just remember that she has friends that have access to your calendar.

Ha ha ha. Suddenly everything is private.

Oh, god, Matt, you are in charge of all of that. Ha ha ha.

Watch it, Andre. So I retract all of the publicly shaming you for not having the right background.

All right, so with that, that'll probably put a close on game two.

We're nearing the end of time. So I'd like to thank everyone tuning in, either on the live stream or catching a recording.

I want to thank all my squares and the contestants.

Thank you for jumping in and pretending to be funny. Ha ha ha. I chuckled.

You know, there was a few good guffaws. Yeah. Matt owes me one for that cat answer.

Ha ha ha. Come on. I mean, everybody knows the Internet's for cat videos.

All right.

And with that, we'll close the show out. Thank you, everyone, for tuning in.

Thank you. Bye.