Cloudflare TV

Silicon Valley Squares

Presented by Dan Hollinger
Originally aired on 

A send up of Hollywood Squares where Cloudflare experts fill the celebrity squares and answer high and low-level Cloudflare questions to help two guest stars (customers, AEs or new hires) get a a tic-tac-toe, or possibly the Silicon Valley equivalent - a TCP handshake (SYN, SYN-ACK, ACK)

Game Shows

Transcript (Beta)

Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, everyone. Welcome to yet another episode of Silicon Valley Squares.

We haven't been canceled yet. So we continue. And with that, this week is a special Cloudflare TV takeover of Silicon Valley Squares.

What that means is the hardworking folks that have been bringing you Cloudflare TV day in and day out are now here on the squares.

And we're going to answer Cloudflare, both Cloudflare TV trivia as well as just general TV trivia.

And we'll see how our contestants can hold up with all of these new types of questions.

So if you're new to the show, welcome. I'm Dan Hollinger, your host from the West Coast.

And in this show, we have two contestants, Rachel and Ollie. Both of them are trying to get a tic tac toe.

That means three across, three down, or three diagonal, or if it comes to it, the first one to five.

And they do this by asking trivia questions of our lovely squares, and guessing whether those answers are right or wrong.

So with that, I'll kick it off to intro my contestants. Rachel, would you mind giving a quick hello to the crowd?

Hi, everybody. My name is Rachel Chavez.

And I support our CEO and founder Matthew Prince. I've been with Cloudflare for about four and a half years.

And I have the privilege of also helping out with Cloudflare TV every day.

Awesome. Welcome to the squares. And Ollie, how about yourself?

I'm the Director of Engineering for now Emerging Technologies and Incubation.

I've kind of, and I now have the privilege of working on Cloudflare TV.

Did marketing make up that name? I don't know, actually. I'm sure there's a good origin story for that name.

You'll have to talk to Dane and others. Alrighty.

And with that, I'll bring up the board once again. And Rachel, the choice is yours.

How would you like to kick us off? So many amazing people on this board. Let's see.

I'm going to go with my girl Jeanette. All right. Which Jeanette? Jeanette L.

All right. Welcome to the squares. Would you mind giving an introduction for everyone?

So my name's Jeanette Leyva. I'm one of the Executive Assistants that work in the San Francisco office.

I support Joe Sullivan, our Chief Security Officer, and Nitin Rao, our Head of Infrastructure.


And where are you calling in from? I'm calling in from my local town, Pittsburgh, California.

Pittsburgh, California. Well, welcome. Your question to kick off the Cloudflare TV takeover.

What product was advertised in the very first television commercial?

That's a tricky answer.

I was going to say squares. If you want to do Jeopardy music or any kind of music that we have the license to, feel free.

I'm going to go with watches.


Rachel, do you agree or disagree that watches were the first thing sold on via commercial?

I have this feeling it's something like the Miracle Mop or something like that.

So as much as I love Jeanette, and I hope this doesn't mess me up, I'm going to have to disagree.

All right. Well, it was watches. So Oliver gets the square and we're off to a competitive start.

All right. Ali, the board is yours.

Where would you like to go? All right. Well, I guess I should go down the center.

So I will go with Fallon. All right. Fallon, our center square. Welcome.

Would you mind giving a quick introduction for all the people that don't already know of your Cloudflare TV notoriety?

First of all, I'm very Cloudflare TV famous.

The first person to win the first version of this show. And I am your former technical content designer and the newest member of Cloudflare TV's team as the content manager.

That first show was many quarantines ago. All right, Fallon.

Well, as one of the new content managers, you should definitely know the answer to this question.

On what day did Cloudflare TV launch? Okay, so I know it was like the second chapter of quarantine, which was sometime in June.

So I'm going to say June 1st.

All right.

Ali, what are your thoughts? I was a dry throat. That had nothing to do with me.

I'm going to sip some tea. Is it cheating if I check my calendar real quick?

I have that. I think it is on my calendar. I think it was later in that month.

So I'm going to disagree that that's and plus they're just like there's 30 days.

So it's got to be like the odds are right. So you're better for statistics.

Yeah, there we go. All right. That is a disagree is correct. It was June 8th.

Eighth. I was trying to trick you. I was trying to get you close to it. I think it was delayed a week.

That's right. All right, here's the state of the board and we already got a win condition.

Rachel, where would you like to play? I would like to go for the block with Amy.

All right, going for the block. Amy, welcome to the squares.

Would you mind giving a quick introduction? I am Amy Bebo and I work on the office team in San Francisco.

I'm calling in from fabulous, beautiful Lafayette, California right now.

And I host my own segment on Cloudflare TV, Home Office TV.

And then I also help support all of our other fine shows. So I'm happy to be this my third time on the Silicon Valley Squares and it's always a good time.

So thank you. Awesome. I like that we're already getting to the point of plugging other things.

Instead of books, we're just plugging other shows. This works.

We got synergy. It's synergy. All right, Amy, your question. What was the first animated cartoon show on television?

I'm just going to say Looney Tunes.

All right, Looney Tunes. Agree or disagree for the block?

I will agree. That's honestly the first thing that popped in my head too.

All right. Well, it wasn't Looney Tunes. It was actually Flintstones. Wow. Like early, early black and white Flintstones.

So, Ollie, I cannot give you the square since it's a wind condition, but you're welcome to choose and play where you'd love.

I'd like to. All right. Well, I'm going to mix things up a little bit.

I'm going to go to my girl, Leigh. All right, Leigh. Where are you calling in from?

I am calling in from Austin, Texas. I am an executive assistant in the Austin office, and I support our CFO, Thomas Seifert, and I also help our head of investor relations.

Awesome. Well, welcome to the squares. Your question. What is the longest running game show on television?

You know, I could get brownie points and say Silicon Valley Squares, but I don't think that's going to be very convincing.

This is Cloudflare television.

It doesn't count yet. It counts. Hey, we're working on our largest network, right?

It has to be that show with Bob Barker, because he's like 150 years old.

Oh, that's true. I'm going to say Price is Right. Price is Right.

Ollie, do you agree or disagree? That's a good one. Yeah, he is like, it's crazy that he's been on there for so long.

I will agree. Price is Right is correct. Yeah, thank you, Leigh.

Thank you. Yeah, I think Drew Carey took over a few years ago.

Okay. All right. Yes.

Help control the pet population, everyone. All right, Rachel, the board is yours.

You're in a tricky, tricky position. At this point, it's just going to be talking to awesome people.

But let's go with Gabriella. All right, Gabriella. Welcome.

Would you mind giving a quick introduction? Hello. Hi, everyone. My name is Gabriella.

I am Cloudflare TV's new intern. And I am broadcasting, I guess, from Chile right now.

Awesome. Welcome. So your question, what was the first show on television?

We're getting risqué here. What was the first show on television to use the F word?

And I can't bleep. Keep that in mind. Okay. Yeah, that's a feature request for TV, right?

I'll make it true. That's great. Oh, this is a hard one. Let's see.

Maybe something in MTV. I'm gonna have to say... Yeah, just something on MTV.

That's going to have to be my answer. I'll allow it. So something on MTV.

Agree or disagree? I'm going to disagree with that. All right. Disagree is correct.

It was actually Saturday Night Live. Makes sense. Do we know if it was intentional?

Or was it an ad lib, so to speak? So the comedian that used it, Charles Rocket, was ultimately fired.

So I assume it was an ad lib. And did it actually air the word?

Or did they have tweaking technology of it? I'm guessing it aired since that was probably when they put in the delay.

Yeah, and he got fired.

Because, you know, back then it was much more strict about what was being presented on air.

With Cloudflare TV, anything goes, right? Anything-ish. We're still testing those boundaries of that.

Yeah, this is no longer a late night show. So, you know.

Would have been way off. I was thinking like South Park or something. All right.

Well, Ollie, board is yours. Where would you like to play? All right. Well, I'm going to try to go for total coverage.

So we're gonna go to Jason. Jason, welcome back to The Squares.

Would you mind giving a quick intro? My name is Jason Kincaid.

I have had the surreal adventure of helping out with Cloudflare TV the last few months.

And I've also helped out a variety of other things, mostly marketing related.

Glad to be here. Awesome. Your question, and this one I think is generally more widely known.

What was the first video played on MTV? So this is a question that I may have a follow-up question.

Because as we launched- I'm intrigued.

Go on. As we launched Cloudflare TV, MTV launched with a rocket blasting off, which we recreated, or at least we were working toward that.

And maybe there was a server reboot at some point and some other things happened.

That may or may not have happened.

But the follow-up question would be, are we talking music video or first video footage?

Music video. What was the first music video played on?

All right. I believe it involved something involving death and music.

I don't think it was the day the music died. So let's go with video killed the radio star.

All right. Video killed the radio star. What are your thoughts?

I was- I should have been watching MTV out there, but I didn't. So I would actually have no idea.

But I think that's wrong. So I'm going to say no. All right.

Oliver disagrees. Yes. It was video killed the radio star. Oh, nice. So I should have not have gone with my- From by the bugles.

Where's the trust, Dolly? You're right.

That's true. I should have- Has Jason ever let you down? No, no. Zero trust.

Trust but verify. Come on. That's right. All right. Well, we got a populated board now.

Rachel, where would you like to play? All right. Well, let's just say hi to everybody on this board.

Let's go with Wendy. Wendy, welcome back to the squares. Well, thank you for having me back.

I'm surprised I was allowed back. I'm surprised I'm still here.

You know, every episode, they just like, okay, let's do this again.

I'm Wendy. I work for Usman and Jen, the heads of product and engineering as an executive assistant.

And with many of these lovely people as my teammates.

Awesome. I'm sure they keep you very busy. Oh, no, not at all. That's why I have time for this.

All right. Well, Wendy, your question. Now I gotta scroll back over on my cards.

Who was the first president to appear on television? I mean, Lincoln?

No, that's way too early. Maybe Reagan? Reagan was like all about the TV stations.

He was like an actor, right? I don't know. I'm going to go with JFK.

All right, JFK.

Do you agree or disagree? Well, I already disagree with a fellow teammate.

So I feel like that wronged me before. So I'm going to agree with Wendy. All right.

It's actually not. It was FDR in 1939. I don't know who I can trust these days.

He gave an opening address at the New York's World Fair. Oh, nice. Sorry, Rachel.

I'm just making guesses. All right. That was Wendy. So it's not a winning square.

So I can give it to you, Ali. And you've got three more boxes. Where would you like to play?

All right. Well, we'll mix it up some more. We'll go to Christina.

All right, Christina. Welcome to the squares. Thank you.

You've been given a quick introduction to all of your Cloudflare TV adoring fans.

Yeah, of course. My name is Christina, and I'm on the corporate events team.

And I've been helping with the Cloudflare TV, like back-end contentful things, so like the schedule since like the beginning.

And we've come so far. Awesome.

So you keep all the trains running on time? Just to make sure that everybody has their Zoom links to make sure that everything can happen.

Not just. That's a big deal.

It creates all the trains. All right. Well, your question. What was the name of the family dog on the Brady Bunch?

I actually know this one.

That's sad. Well, I don't watch a lot of TV. So I'm just going to go for a guess with just what a generic dog name would be, I guess.

We'll go with Spotty or something.

All right. Spotty or something. Agree or disagree?

I equally didn't watch enough TV during that period, which I didn't have to make up for now.

But let's see. Probably not. So I will disagree. All right. Disagree is correct.

His name was Tiger. And he was playing himself. He was a dog named Tiger.

So Rachel gets the square. And we're back to a pretty even match. And so, again, keep in mind, first to five will also win the game.

But where would you like to play next, Rachel?

Let's hear from Jetty. The other Jeannette. Sorry. Other Jeannette, welcome to the squares.

Would you mind giving a quick intro? Hi, I'm the other Jeannette, also known as Jetty.

I'm here in Austin, where Lee is. And I support Dane, the head of emerging technology and incubation.

And Juan Rodriguez.

And he is the CIO. And this is my second time on the show. The first time as a square.

Awesome. So you know how this works. Yeah. You can just trick the heck out of the contestants if you so chose.

All right. Well, your question. I was able to sneak a sci-fi question in here.

What is the famous phrase on the UFO poster in Fox Mulder's office in X-Files?

I've never watched X-Files.

Great. But I used to work with a guy. I think he had that poster in his office.

I want to say it said, believe. All right.

Believe. Agree or disagree? Dan, where's the friends trivia in the team?

I know, right? I do have one. One friends question. Yeah.

But I had to mix it up. I'm like, I need like 90s questions. I need like 50s. I need all like, it's TV trivia.

Come on. I actually am a TV monster, but I'm not a sci-fi fan.

So I'm just going to agree with Jetty and call it a day. All right. Well, I'll give it to you.

Like it was, I want to believe. Oh. So you were close enough.

Close enough. Yeah, he's just feeling sorry for me. No, and I swear he did have that poster in his office.

And the only word that is in my head was believe.

All right. I should know that because I watched the show, but like I totally don't remember.

I obviously am not kind of noticing stuff around the periphery.

I was betting on the truth is out there. That would have been good. I would have picked me.

All right. Ollie, would you like to finish off game one? All right.

Then we will try to, we'll seal it. We've got to pull board covers and we'll go.

All right. Amy, your extra question is this 1969 kids show included colorful characters like Big Bird, Bert, and Ernie.

I should have probably left the character names out and just been like, what show in 1969?

Let's go back. Let's, let's pretend that's the question I asked. Okay, redo, redo, redo.

I wasn't born quite yet, but I remember like looking down upon the planet.

You know what I mean? Like, and like, like wondering what all the children were doing, like before I chose to be born.

And they were all watching these like weird, like puppety, muppety things.

Jim, I feel like Jim Henson was involved. I feel like Kermit the Frog used to make a cameo.

I'm going to go with Sesame Street. Snuffleupagus was there.

That was definitely in my childhood. And I, uh, I grew up on, on, on Sesame Street.

So I'm going to say that's, that's, I agree. Probably ages me though.

All right. That is correct. And so there goes a very hot, tightly contested game one.

All right. And game one was brought to you by Inside Jokes.

You want to get on, on the Inside Jokes? Come work at Cloudflare. We have a variety of principled, curious, and transparent people.

As you can see, filling up the board today.

If you'd like to learn more and help, help us build a better Internet, you can go to Cloudflare .com slash careers.

And with that, we'll move on to game two.

Ollie, board is yours. Where would you like to kick us off for a quick game two?

All right. So we're going to go with the corner strategy and we'll get going with Jason.

All right. We'll see if we can repair. Yes. Or the right answer is I agree.

Kids still grow up on Sesame Street. Yeah, you might, you might appreciate this question.

Which 80s show had the titular character saving the day with little more than paper clips, a shoelace, and bubble gum?

Oh, good question.

So I have to say, I haven't seen the show all that many times. The ones that I tended to see in the rebroadcast stage were Knight Rider.

Knight Rider was awesome.

I was all about that. But I think I would, I would really be letting everyone down if I didn't know the answer to this was MacGyver.

All right. MacGyver, agree or disagree?

I agree. All right. It is MacGyver. Okay, good. All right. I never watched the show, but I think I kind of heard of it.

So bubble gum, paper clips, and shoelaces.

This is otherwise like the back end of Cloudflare TV. Is that correct?

Pretty much. MacGyver, MacGruber, one of those. All right. Here's the state of the board.

Rachel, where would you like to go next? Okay. Let me make it up to Jeanette Leyva and trust her this time.

All right. Jeanette, your question.

So the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was born and raised here. Bonus points if you do it in song.

I hadn't thought myself. I don't know.

I don't want to scare people off with my canary skills. I think our ratings might go down if I sing the song.

I know. I would say you guys are the Cloudflare TV team.

You can just re-dub it with the actual 20 seconds of licensing we can own, right?

If legal approves. You didn't hear about the karaoke show I'm developing?


Uh, hold on.

I'm like really like, I feel like my lashes are about to fall out because I'm trying really hard not to cry laugh.

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, this is where I'm going to go.

All right. You agree or disagree?

I love me some Will Smith. I'm going to agree. All right. It is West Philadelphia.

Born and raised on the playground is where he was spending most of his days.

All right. Ollie, board back to you. Where would you like to play? All right.

Let's see. I actually have no idea what the board looks like. Um, so I will go.

Nice. Nice jab at the producer. There's the board.

All right. There we go. I will go with Lee. I guess I'll go with Lee.

All right, Lee, your question. What sporting event is the most watched television event in the United States?

In the United States?

I guess it would help if I watch sports to know. Which I do some.

Well, it can't be ice skating or figure skating. Yeah, unlikely. It might be soccer.

But my husband is a sports fanatic, and I'm going to have to say it has something to do with football.

So watch television in the U.S.

Maybe the Super Bowl game because it seems like that is when people who don't watch sports actually watch sports.

So it's even more than people that just watch a football game.

So I'm going to have to say maybe the Super Bowl.

All right. Super Bowl. Agree or disagree? I'm going to have to agree.

I know that my son plays soccer, and so I know the U.S. just doesn't focus on soccer as much as the football.

So football is definitely the number one. That is correct.

It is the Super Bowl. It's good. All right. Rachel, board is yours.

Where would you like to play? Let's go back to Jetty. All right, Jetty. All right.

Oh, here's the Jason question. What was the name of the car in Knight Rider? Oh, got this one.

All right. The car was named Kit. Agree or disagree? I mean, she seems so confident.

I have to agree. It is Kit. Yes. She could have said Kat, and I would have agreed.

That's how confident that answer was. All right. So we got the block.

We probably have time for one more square. Ollie, how would you like to finish off the game?

All right. We're going to hit Fallon in the middle. All right.

Fallon. You're going to come back for another squares? Me? Yeah, of course. Oh, yeah.

No, I'm about to be in here. Awesome. Awesome.

Don't say that. Me and Dan will come after you. I mean, it's kind of my job now.

I live here now. I mean, if you guys are all my friends, like, this makes it very easy to fill the board.

Like, this works. I know on the back end, I'm taken care of very well.

Yes. All right. Fallon, your question to close out the Cloudflare TV takeover of Silicon Valley Squares.

What classic game show debuted on October 17, 1966, with Peter Marshall as host?

Okay. So, I was raised by my grandparents. I watched a lot of old school TV.

I think, pretty sure it's Let's Make a Deal. Well, I've been agreeing with everything for this round.

So, I think I'll go keep going with the strategy, and I will agree.

It sounds reasonable. All right. That's actually incorrect.

This was a trick question. I was trying to set you up. Now I know.

Now I know. Okay, I get it. It was Hollywood Squares. Hollywood Squares debuted in October 17, 1966.

I almost said the Snatch Game, but I feel like if anybody watches Drag Race, that would have given it away.

All right. Well, there's the end of game two. And thank you all for dialing in.

Thank you, my Squares and contestants. If you caught the live stream, I hope you had a good time.

If not, one of the recordings. So, everyone here from Silicon Valley Squares, have a wonderful time.

Thank you. Thank you, Dan. Any cats or dogs, this is now the time.

And if you want to spay or neuter them, that's on you.

But you should do that. Please. It's not live. A completely different network.

We don't have the clearance for that. Yeah, I don't think we've got the clearance for legal.

Thank you, everyone. Have a great day. Thank you.