Cloudflare TV

❄ Silicon Valley Squares

Presented by Dan Hollinger
Originally aired on 

A send up of Hollywood Squares where Cloudflare experts fill the celebrity squares and answer high and low-level Cloudflare questions to help two guest stars (customers, AEs or new hires) get a a tic-tac-toe, or possibly the Silicon Valley equivalent - a TCP handshake (SYN, SYN-ACK, ACK).

This week's episode is a Holiday Spectacular, with Matthew Prince, Cofounder and CEO of Cloudflare as the center square!

Game Shows

Transcript (Beta)

Hello, hello. Welcome everyone to yet another episode of Silicon Valley Squares. We're very glad to have you here on our holiday spectacular.

So that means seasonal trivia, Christmas trivia, holiday trivia, anything you might want to learn about.

It was actually fun looking up. Glad to have you everyone while you're whether you're joining the live stream or catching one of the recordings.

Hopefully you're having a good morning, afternoon or evening.

I'm your host from the West Coast, Dan Hollinger.

And with me today we have an assortment of Cloudflare employees that are going to try to entertain you via tic-tac-toe and a PowerPoint slide.

So with that in mind, if you're unfamiliar with the show, I will give you a quick rundown.

So what my contestants Mohamed and Amy are trying to do is get a tic-tac -toe that means three across, three down or three diagonal.

They do this by me asking amazing trivia questions of our guests and the guests right or wrong on those answers.

So with that, I'll move it over to Mohamed. Would you mind giving a quick introduction?

Welcome to the squares. Thank you. My name is Mohamed. I am a solutions engineer based out of Austin, currently in SoCal.

And I've been at Cloudflare for about three weeks so far.

And it's been quite great. I was gonna ask, so that's why you have time to do this show.

You're still rampant. Okay. Yeah, exactly.

All right. And Amy, welcome. Welcome to the squares. Would you mind giving a quick intro?

Yeah, I'm Amy. I work in San Francisco. I am an office coordinator.

And I've been with Cloudflare about two years. And I have time to do this show because we're not in the office.

Not that you asked, but I would have to say that's probably why I have time.

Otherwise, I'd be at the desk.

I'd be running around. I'd be busy. Yeah, I just had to give Mohamed some flack since I was a solutions engineer in a past life.

And I would have never had the time for this.

They say it's about the three month mark. All righty, with that, we'll kick off the show.

And so I'll bring up the board. Mohamed, you get first choice.

Where would you like to play? I will start with the top left square, please.

All right, top left. So Jason, welcome back to the squares.

Thanks, Tim. Would you mind giving a quick intro? Sure thing. Hey, my name is Jason.

And I help keep Cloudflare TV running 24 seven. So don't touch that dial ever.


All right, Jason, your question to kick off game one of our holiday spectacular.

What popular holiday beverage is also known as milk punch? Milk punch. You know, if there's one thing I learned from adulthood, it's that the more innocuous a drink sounds, the more alcohol is likely involved.

So this one sounds like it's spiked with something.

And when I think of dairy related drinks that are festive, I guess eggnog.

Although I think more creamy, the cream punch might be better.

But I'll go spiked eggnog. All right, eggnog. Mohamed, do you agree or disagree?

I would agree with that. All right, eggnog is correct. So X gets top left square.

So let me get that the board up and running. And Amy, it's your choice. I'm going to go with the center square.

So I'm going to choose Matthew. All right. Welcome, Matthew.

Back to the squares. Thank you. Thank you for coming. And I guess question again.

Do you have the time to do this? Well, my job is just to clean toilets at Cloudflare.

And since we're not in the office and people won't let me clean their homes, you know, I have plenty of time.

So Dan, thanks for having me on. Awesome.

Glad to have you. And I'm sure you don't need a major introduction. But would you mind giving a quick intro of yourself?

I just did. I cleaned the toilets at Cloudflare.

So, you know, that's there's no shame in that. How long have you been doing that?

12 years. With every new office. With every new office. All right, Matthew, your question.

The winter solstice is famous for being this. I think that that is the day that we crown the king and queen of Seoul, obviously.

No, I think the winter solstice is it's the shortest day of the year.

Amy, agree or disagree?

I definitely agree. I mean, it's famous for a lot of things being dark is the main thing.

All right. It is the shortest day of the year. Shortest day of the year.

So, O gets the center square and we're off to a good game one. Mohamed, where would you like to take us next?

I would like to go to Michael Cummins, please.

All right, Michael. Welcome to Silicon Valley Squares. Where are you dialing in from?

Dan, I'm dialing in from Austin, Texas. Awesome. And can you give a quick intro of yourself to all of your adoring fans?

Sure. Hi, all my adoring fans.

I'm a customer development at Cloudflare. So it's my job to find people that have a good use case for us and help them explore that.

Awesome. Welcome. Your question.

What happens every time a bell rings in the movie It's a Wonderful Life? It's a Wonderful Life every time the bell rings.

I'm supposed to pretend like I know this, right?

So when I answer, they agree with me. If I don't know it, I'm just kidding.

Every time a bell rings, a child gets a bell.

Yeah, a child gets a bell. It's like exponential bell.

Lots of bells. Yeah. Everyone knows that. Can I choose another square?

Nope. And there's no phone a friend. All right, Mohammed, do you agree with that answer that when a bell rings, a new child gets a bell?

I'm going to disagree. Disagree is the right choice. Sorry, Michael. So X gets the square.

The answer for those who have somehow not seen that movie is that an angel gets its wings when a bell rings.

Thought it was your DoorDash is ready. That's that's the modern version.

I'm sure. All right, Amy, board is yours. There's already a potential win.

Where would you like to play? I'm going to go with Ash.

I'm going to, I'm going to try to block this move here. All right, Ash for the block.

Welcome to the squares. Ash, would you mind giving a quick intro? Sure.

Thanks for having me. I'm based in Toronto and I just joined in October and my role is to help grow the business in Canada.

Awesome. Glad to glad to have such friendly people joining us on the squares.

Absolutely. All right, Ash, your question. How many candles do you need to light in total to celebrate Hanukkah?

Well, that depends on whether Muhammad is Jewish or not.

My answer will depend on that. Yes. Yes, you're Jewish or yes, you're not.

Yes, I'm Jewish. Oh. I know it's a lot of candles.

I think there are eight in a menorah. And then there's a nine.

But I, I'm thinking nine. But I think it's could be more than that. I'm going to go with 44.

All right, 44. Why not? Why not? Oh, Ash, no. You seem to just select that out of nowhere.

Exactly. I just know it's more than nine. All right.

Muhammad, do you, or Amy, do you agree or disagree? I'm a little confused. I mean, I always thought it was eight, you know, that, you know, that's the like the menorah that I didn't grow up with, but have seen many times at parties and also in a variety.

But then again, I don't know if to fully celebrate Hanukkah. So are we are we doing like the eight days?

So then is it eight times eight? But then we're at 64.

So then I don't know where 44 came from. Um, I'm gonna disagree. All right, it is 44.

So, so you it's ultimately a factorial because you have to start with one and then you light a new extra candle for each night and then you have the helper candle.

My math, my math. I'm counting. I'm trying to help you, Amy. I'm trying to help you here.

I'm glad we have you on the Canada team. All right. So Muhammad, I can't give you the win for game one.

But you're welcome to choose your square.

Okay, I will go with top right, please. Top right. Kelsey, welcome to the squares.

Would you mind giving a quick intro? Yeah, for sure. I'm part of our Austin, Texas team alongside Michael and Tracy hook them.

And I also do customer development.

So bringing a lot of lovely people on board to our platform. Glad to have you.

I commend the hat. Good. Good choice. Thank you. I was worried I'd have to go change.

But I think it works. I think it works. Yes. All right, your question, Kelsey.

This one should be a nice softball. Who is the most famous reindeer of all?

Okay. So I know like, there's the obvious. But if we just throw around a few names as well, I think that dancer should be the most famous due to like the parties you must be dancing at.

He is on TikTok. Yeah, I saw a dancer on TikTok.

So I mean, like, just so many views via the platform. But if we go back in time, it's probably Rudolph.

All right, Mohammed, do you agree with Rudolph? I would agree.

All right. It is Rudolph, the most famous reindeer of all. And now we got the double win scenario up on the board.

Let me bring that in. And Amy, it's your choice.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go with Bob. All right, Bob, welcome to the squares.

Thank you. Thank you. Good to be here. Where are you dialing in from? Cold, wintry Chicago.

Oh, Chicago. Feels very holiday-like. You're probably the most seasonal of the group here from San Francisco and Austin and the like.

Yeah, just a little bit.

I think we're 12 degrees this morning when we woke up. So it's definitely just the season.

Well, good to have you. Hopefully, we can warm you up a little bit.

And would you mind giving a quick intro of your work here at Cloudflare?

Sure. Yeah. So I started at the company a blazing one month and one day ago.

Delighted to be here. Job is leading enterprise sales in North America. And I will do a shout out to Nate Asp.

The reason that I think Tracy and Ash and I are participating tonight is because he, as the great mentor and onboarding buddy that Nate is, he volunteered us all to be on tonight.

So thank you, Nate. If you're out there, we owe you one.

I was saying, Nate, if you just want to build a spiff around this, I'm game.

Let's just work that out. All right, Bob, your question. Stink, stank, stunk describes this classic Dr.

Seuss Christmas scoundrel. So my favorite holiday Dr.

Seuss was definitely Horton Hears a Who. So I'd like to go with Horton.

But I think that's too easy. Elephants and Christmas don't necessarily kind of match up too well.

So we'll go with the Grinch. The Grinch. Amy, do you agree or disagree?

I, you know, I'm trying to, this is an easy recovery from the Hanukkah humiliation of earlier.

So I'm going to agree. I was always, always a big fan of the Grinch.

I was always excited when his little cold heart grew three sizes.

You know, I mean, I think that's a heartwarming memory for all of us. So yeah, I agree with you, Bob.

And welcome to Cloudflare and to Kelsey and Ash also. Welcome.

And it was the Grinch. So yes, the Grinch wins. O gets the square. And here's the state of the board.

Mohamed, where would you like to play? Bottom center, please.

This may be one of the most competitive games at the Calculus scene.

Oh, we have, we have all of the above. Domination. All right, Vaishnavi, welcome to the squares.

Would you mind giving a quick intro? Yeah, sure. Hello, everyone.

I'm Vaishnavi and I am based out of the New York office and been here at Cloudflare for two years as a solutions engineer, and it's just been amazing.

All right, good to hear.

Your question. This holiday, whose name stems from a phrase meaning first fruits, began in 1966.

All right. This is the educational question. I have to, like, have a few educational questions.

So I remember reading this somewhere obscurely, although not internationally known.

On this holiday, people make, I think, more than 120 types of fruitcake.

So I think it's called fruitcake day.

I think that would be too easy.

I think it would be too easy. It sounds like. Yeah, I don't know about that.

SC to SC, I love you. I don't know, that relationship is built off trust.

You know, if you can't trust what the other SC says, then you got to test it yourself.

I'm going to have to phone over SFSC. I will have to, I'm sorry, disagree.

All right, disagree is the correct choice. The answer is Kwanzaa.

So Kwanzaa is based off a phrase which means first fruits. Sorry, Amy.

Harvest celebration. I'm just happy to, you know, to be here. And it's good to see you, Vaishnavi, you know, she left us for New York.

All right, so X gets the square and we got a competitive game won.

Where would you like to play next, Amy? I'm going to pick Tracy.

All right, Tracy, welcome to the squares. Would you mind giving a quick intro?

Sure. My name is Tracy. I am finishing up week eight here at Cloudflare.

I just started as the Austin sales leader just before Bob. So we're all newbies.

Ask me anything. I may not have any idea. All right. If anything, next time we get back to Cloudflare trivia and tech trivia, we'll have you back on.

All right.

Another number question. How many ghosts visited Scrooge in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol?

This is a trick question. I know that it's a trick question.

So I am going to go with a non -obvious answer and say four. All right. Four ghosts.

Do you agree or disagree? I don't know. I keep getting all these confusing questions.

I thought it was three. I think it's three. But then it could be four, but then I can't win anyway.

So I'm going to agree to be agreeable.

There might be another factorial in this one. You might want to think.

It might be. That's why I'm just going to say sure. All right. Agree is the right choice.

It is four because he's visited by the ghost of Bob Marley. The ghost of Christmas past, present, and future.

Right. All right. So I'll bring the board back up and we're down to the last square of game one.

You can either go for the down or first one to five will win the match.

So I will go for bottom right, please.

All right. Alex, welcome to the squares. Would you mind giving a quick intro for all your fans?

Oh, yeah. For all my fans that watch Clafleur. Shout out to you all.

The two of them. I'm a technical support engineer based off the Austin office.

I'm currently transmitting from the house office of Monterrey, Mexico. Awesome.

Glad to have you. So your question to wrap up game one, potentially, is the New Year's Eve celebration held at this U.S.

landmark typically brings over 1 million attendees yearly.

Obviously not counting this year. I will go with Times Square.

All right. Times Square. Can I phone Vishnavi? I'll say, yeah, I agree.

All right. It is Times Square. So Mohammed takes the bottom right and we got five squares and so it takes game one.

I'll bring up the state of the board.

A very competitive match. And with that, game one was brought to you by Comfort & Joy.

So everyone watching, thank you. Everyone at Silicon Valley Squares, the Clafleur TV team and Clafleur wish you all a happy holiday season filled with your loved ones laughter and joy.

So that's the advertisement. Now back to game two.

The more competitive version. Amy, would you like to kick us off? Yeah, I guess I'm going to go with, I can't read the board, but the bottom middle one.

I think we didn't choose that contestant yet, correct?

We've chosen everyone. Oh, we have chosen everyone?

Yep. Well, then I'm going to go back to Matthew for the center.

All right. Matthew, your question to kick us off for game two. December 7th marks a national holiday dedicated to this sweet sugary candy, also known as fairy floss.

December 7th is Pearl Harbor Day, so I don't know why it would be about candy at all.

Have to be something that seems strange, but floss, so it's going to be something stringy.

I'm going to say Twizzlers. All right.

National Twizzlers Day. Do you agree or disagree? I feel like I would have a hard time getting a Twizzler beneath my teeth or between them, so as much as I love and respect Matthew, I'm going to disagree on this one.

All right. It's up to you.

I'm just- No, I'm up to you. We agree to disagree. Is that the thing that we have to say during holiday dinner all day and night?

All right. You can practice it now.

Disagree is the correct choice. It is National Cotton Candy Day.

Yay. I agree with Matthew. It's strange that it's on Pearl Harbor Day. I agree with Matthew on that.

I think that's not an appropriate holiday for cotton candy.

All right. Mohamed, board is yours. Where would you like to play next? I'll go with Bob.

All right. Bob, your question, hopefully keep you warm, is since 1974 in this country, KFC Chicken has become a time-honored Christmas tradition with over 3 million orders taking place months in advance of Christmas.

Which country is this?

We do consider Texas its own country, right? I'd assume brisket would outdo KFC there.

I'm just putting it there. 100%. That's a good point.

Yeah. I'm going to go with the U.S. is the closest thing that I can get to Texas.

The United States is my answer. All right. The United States. Mohamed, do you agree or disagree?

I will disagree. All right.

Disagree is the correct choice. It is actually Japan that it has become a time-honored tradition to order some fried chicken.

I thought I was going to trick you on that one.

Well done. Once you said Texas, then I knew, okay. I'm not trying to draw you in gradually.

All right. Amy, board is yours. Where would you like to play next?

I will play the bottom, the top right. Top right. All right. Kelsey. All right.

Your question, and apologies if I mispronounce this. Takanakuy.

It's a festival held on December 25th in this South American nation.

Takanakuy. Takanakuy. Okay. I did study Spanish and Latin American culture for a little bit, so hopefully I can help you out, but I haven't heard of this before.

It reminds me of Uruguay, the sound of it, or Paraguay. Let's go with Uruguay.

It definitely has a Guay vibe. I was also thinking it had a French Guyana vibe, but then again, I don't know.

It also reminds me of Brazil because it has an indigenous thing.

I'm just going to disagree, but not in a way. Again, let's just agree to disagree.

Such friendly disagreeing here on the squares. It's the holiday episode.

I'm a Libra. No one's interacted with their families yet. All right.

Disagree is correct. It is held in Peru. The festival consists of dancing and fist fighting to help settle old conflicts.

They're not taking on the agree to disagree with that.

Okay, but they're settling things. Yeah, I guess so. All right.

Amy takes the square, and I'll bring up the board for Mohamed. All right. Where would you like to play?

I'll go with my fellow SE one more time, Vishnavi. All right.

Vishnavi, this is where the trust is really built with the new SEs. I've given you a second chance.

All right. Your question, what is the best selling Christmas song ever?

I think it should be White Christmas by Bing Crosby. I think so.

All right. White Christmas by Bing Crosby. Extra points if anyone can sing it.

Wow. It's not Jingle Bells or something? I'll agree. Yeah. All right. It is White Christmas.

Worst case scenario, the documentation might have just been deprecated.

That's common among SE documentation. Also, if someone does sing it, legal may have an issue with that.

No, you got the six seconds fair use, right? But also, isn't this song probably, whatever you call it now, not copyrighted?

Public domain?

Public domain. Thank you. Probably not. Well, Matthew's here. We can get the budget for the license, right?

Come on. 20 seconds, Bing Crosby. What if the parrot sings it?

If the parrot sings it, that's a good idea. All right. Here's the state of the board.

Amy, where do we play next? Hmm. I'm going to go with the one in the middle left.

Middle left. So, Michael. Michael. Is that Michael? Yeah. All right, Michael.

Your question for game two. I've got to pull up my, you know, my note cards.

What is the name of the European monster that captures naughty children during Christmas?

The anti-Santa. The anti-Santa. It's not the Grinch, right?

We already did the Grinch. That's Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey is Canadian.

He's not a European monster. Okay. Obviously, the answer is John Graham Cumming, but that's a whole other story.

I think it's like the really scary looking dude.

His name is Krampus, I think, if I remember.

All right. Krampus. Do we agree or disagree? I think that is also correct. I don't really know, but I was looking at a list of Christmas movies and there was like a scary movie looking thing and it was a guy named Krampus.

And I thought that seemed like the kind of guy that might run around like Europe, like kidnapping naughty children.

You know, like before that was apparently more, you know, this is like the legend, right?

It's like the way to scare their children. I think it's Krampus.

All right. Krampus is correct. So Amy gets the square. And Mohamed, where would you like to play next?

I'll go with bottom left, please. Bottom left.

Ash, any, you know, defense of Jim Carrey? No, I'm good. All right.

Your question. And another one, you know, apologies if I butcher. Thailand celebrates Songkran, a multi-day water fight to celebrate this holiday.

Wow. So Songkran.

Yeah, that's, that's faint. I mean, the answer is right in the word. Songkran, right?

It's about singing. So when would you sing? I would go with celebration of New Year's.

All right. New Year's. Do you agree or disagree? I'll agree.

All right. It is New Year's. You didn't sound too sure, Mohamed. Well, you said 44 last time.

I was like, there's no way that's right. And it turned out to be right.

And I was like, all right, he's gonna tell the truth. All right. Well, we got time for one more question.

So let me bring up the board. And Amy, you can pick where we, how you'd like to finish the game.

Um, well, I'm gonna go with, I guess, Tracy.

Don't sound so excited. You know, because it's like, do I pick someone that I didn't already call on?

Or do I go for the win? I go for the win. All right. The pressure is on, Tracy.

Your question. What TV famous holiday was made for the rest of us?

I know what you want me to say. But I'm not going to say that because it's actually the one for the rest of you.

It's Krishmaka. All right.

Krishmaka, do you agree or disagree, Amy? I'm going to agree to disagree.

It's like the most noncommittal disagreements here. Disagreement, though. All right.

Well, disagreement is correct. The answer is Festivus. Made famous by Seinfeld.

The Festivus poll. Isn't that like yelling? Yeah. But if anyone has to ask some grievances to air, now would be the time because we're at the end of our show.

So thank you all for tuning in. Thank you, squares and contestants. Hopefully everyone had a blast and has some happy holidays ahead of you.

Happy holidays.